Archive for September, 2006

This time of year sucks…

Thursday, September 14th, 2006

It was my lunch break, so I decided to have lunch at the mall.  I get tired of eating rice everyday, and I wanted something other than RD food.  Right when I walked in the mall, I noticed that the stores were all changing.  Seems that the xmas season is finally starting.  Stores are starting to sell more xmas inspired products like candles and displays.  That’s not the bad part. What made it worse is the xmas music that started playing right when I walked in the department store.  The more I heard the xmas song, the more I started hating the idea of xmas.  This coming xmas will probably be my worse xmas ever.  Im not expecting any gifts from anyone, and plus i’ll be alone and away from the people who I trully love.  Im really starting to hate this time of year, because it’s getting closer and closer to the so called holiday season.  For once in my life, I am wishing that xmas never comes.  Im starting to become a scrooge, sad to say, but it’s the truth. Bah Humbug! Give me just one good reason why I should be even celebrating this time of the year. There’s nothing I am thankful for, and there’s no one I want to wish a merry xmas to.  You think even my parents will be happy at a time like this?  They probably wish I was there to celebrate it with them.  But no, one stupid decision on my part, and my life, as well as my family’s life gets all screwd up.  Sometimes I wish I joined the army, so i’ll have a reason to shoot someone. F#@K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

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Tuesday, September 5th, 2006

UNTITLED

How can I explain all this to you?
When everything I feel inside
Are lies that I tell myself
And a feeling of dread
That even my bright smile can’t hide

And I really think that it’ll never change
Because while Im getting older
Im trying to find the reasons
But the answers fade before I reach them

I look at your face
And try not to taste my rage
I’d like to think that someday
I’ll look at you and not hate you as I do

But you distorted my mind
You destructed my soul
You contamindated my heart
And now I can’t find my true self

I blame fate
Not to blame you
Maybe I’ll see the truth someday
But now everything I can see
Is blood on your hands
And tears in my eyes…